Ghost of Esmeralda

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Posts by Ghost of Esmeralda

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  85

  How Screwed Up Are You Because You Were A Jehovah's Witness???

  by minimus in

  1. jw
  2. friends

  after reading so many experiences about how being a jw affected a person's life, i wonder how your life has turned out because you were at one time a witness.

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  Ghost of Esmeralda

  How screwed up am I???

  very!

  ...but I'm working on getting better every day.

  ~essie
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  40

  question: scuicide and mental illness

  by larrynbabies in

  1. watchtower
  2. scandals

  i am wondering if thier have been any recent studies done regarding a higher incident of scuicide and mental illness in the jw community

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  Ghost of Esmeralda

  Don't even go in there thinking about any other possible outcome, Larry! You need to go in there with the confidence, and the knowledge that YOU are what is best for those babies. Don't let them spook you or make you doubt yourself, and we will all be hoping and sending the strength of our good thoughts to you and your babies...and I'm hoping that everything will turn out right with the case.

  Be strong!!!!

  hugs,

  essie

  ps Czar....GREAT post. From another member of the chemical imbalance club to another (not a fun one, is it?) ...that post is a keeper. Thank you.
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  24

  Divorce is now final

  by Scooby in

  1. jw
  2. friends

  hi you guys... just thought i'd pass on my sadness for me to heal a little.. if that's okay.. i was in the "program" for 11 years, husband witnessed to me in college while he was inactive, we studied together, got baptized & married.

  had rough times... but i loved him so much........unconditionally despite wt doctrine.

  last 3 years we both started to miss meetings and question the bs.

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  Ghost of Esmeralda

  (((((((((((((Scooby)))))))))))))))))))))

  just adding my hugs to the list...i'm so sorry for your pain...

  hugs

  essie
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  40

  question: scuicide and mental illness

  by larrynbabies in

  1. watchtower
  2. scandals

  i am wondering if thier have been any recent studies done regarding a higher incident of scuicide and mental illness in the jw community

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  Ghost of Esmeralda

  ((((((((((Larry and babies))))))))))

  Please keep holding, kissing, and looking at your precious children. They need you so much, and you will get so much back from them for the care and love you give them now...hang on to that, and they will hang on to you, and the light in their little eyes will help you to keep going.

  They love you so much. They're just too little to say so, so I'm saying it for them. If they could articulate, it, they'd probably say something like...

  Dear Daddy,

  We don't understand why mommy went away, but we know that you're so sad. We can see it in your eyes and sometimes we can hear you cry,and it scares us. But we know that you're trying, and we need you to know that we really, really love you, Dad, with all our hearts. When we get older we'll need you to tell us all you can about our mother, to remind us that she loved us so much even though she couldn't stay...that it wasn't our fault, and most of all we need to know that you're going to be here for us, Dad. We need you more than we can even understand.

  Please feel how much we love you when we look at you, when we gurgle and smile, in those quietest of moments when you're rocking us to sleep or caring for us when we're sick.

  We are so small, and the world is so big. We need you to show us the way. Please hold our hands so we won't be so scared, and we promise we will give you all the love our little hearts can possibly give, and then some. Please stay with us, you're all the family we have.

  love, your babies

  (((((Larry))))) I can't even fathom what you're going through, please talk when you need to, and know that many of us here are thinking of you and your kids every single day.

  I hope that this post isn't out of line, or offensive to you in any way. It's just so hard to know you're suffering and feeling so alone when your kids surely adore you so much, you just can't hear them say it yet.

  take it a day, an hour, or a minute at a time if you have to...and just keep going.

  hugs

  essie
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  4

  The Watchtower and Phrenology

  by Dogpatch in

  1. jw
  2. friends

  the watchtower and phrenology?

  on page 17 of the july 15 th 1978

  watchtower

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  Ghost of Esmeralda

  Good grief.

  If only more JW's knew the history of their own religion, this board would have a lot more people posting on it! LOL

  Thanks, Randy!

  hugs

  Essie
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  128

  Inky got a letter from her son.............you have to read this

  by Mulan in

  1. jw
  2. experiences

  our niece, irene, who posts here as inky, sent me an email.

  her 27 year old son is getting married in two weeks, and she posted a few days ago about how he didn't invite her to his wedding.. she told me i can post it as she doesn't want to read it again.. "dear mom.

  i've needed to write this letter to you for some time now.

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  Ghost of Esmeralda

  Ugh. ((((((((((((Inky))))))))))))) Just when I think I've read the worst letter a JW can write, someone has to go lower!

  Because you left the brotherhood, I chose to have no relationship with you. I love the creator and the brotherhood far more than I love you. Not to say I wasn't heartbroken; I am just confident that I am doing what is right and will do it at all costs.

  And my family wonders why I don't ever want to be a JW again. I don't ever, EVER want to associate with people that 'loving and kind' again!!!!!

  Dispicable. Totally, utterly, unbelievably dispicable.

  And what's worse is I'm sure his JW cronies are applauding him for his 'stand'.

  Excuse me, I'm going to vomit.

  essie
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  65

  Suicide and JW'S

  by obiwan in

  1. jw
  2. experiences

  i have personally had experience with this.

  a long time friend committed suicide because of her husband and the problems they were having.

  he abused her and ended up leaving her, the elders wouldn't help out much stating that it was a marital problem.. she couldn't cope with him leaving, she was extremely dependant on him, she felt the only way out was suicide.

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  Ghost of Esmeralda

  ((((((((Lyineyes))))))))))

  Your mother was just so beautiful...just as you are, I am so sorry. Every time I think about your story words fail me.

  You said:

  And the word needs to get out and the voices that can not speak for themselves anymore need to be heard.

  That is so true. That's why I posted about my friend Drew, and about the pioneer I idolized in my teens who committed suicide. It's a disease in the organization, and it's killing more people every day. It has to stop.

  When I have my worst of all possible days now, and I don't know if I can take one more thing, I think of you, and that I don't want to put my daughter through the pain you've been through. Who knows how many others you have helped this way as well...

  Thank you for telling her story and yours. You are loved here.

  essie
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  7

  Quote of the day

  by Billygoat in

  1. jw
  2. friends

  "following the light of the sun, we left the old world.

  " - christopher columbus

  some of you understand my struggles with depression in the past.

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  Ghost of Esmeralda

  ((((((((((((Andi)))))))))))))))

  Thanks for that, sweetheart. Sometimes even those of us who are doing better most days have our moments of darkness still...thanks for shining a light for us.

  love,

  essie
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  86

  Your Username

  by RAYZORBLADE in

  1. social
  2. humour

  there are many reasons why we choose a username.

  on this forum, aside from some of the more obvious names associated with our avatars, what does your nickname/username mean or refer to?.

  some are first names.

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  Ghost of Esmeralda

  And how about those who posted, and are gone but not forgotten:

  bboyenko, bittrermango, TweetieBird, Seeker, Esmeralda, closer2fine, PiercedAngel, (now that was a story) Kismet, mommy, Mindchild, ladonna, OUTLAW.

  Awww, XJW, so sweet to be remembered after all this time! But, er, hi honeys, I'm...um...home? :)

  I was/am Esmeralda. When I came back I didn't want to bug Simon to reactivate the old account. Since I thought I'd moved past everything that the JW's had done to me (ha! since they're still doing it, boy was I off there...) I came back as Essie's Ghost...still haunted by the past.

  The nick originally came from the Disney character of Esmeralda from their version of Hunchback of Notre Dame by Victor Hugo. She sang a song in the movie called "God help the outcasts" which I found very moving. She also knew how to kick butt and take care of herself.

  Whether or not the character and I also have, er, certain similiar um, physical attributes, I will not comment on ;)

  hugs to all, new names or old...

  Essie

  (still seeking "Sanctuary!")
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  8

  fun pic of Bill Bowen, Watters and Hampton in CA

  by Dogpatch in

  1. jw
  2. experiences

  this is a picture of bill bowen, myself and cynthia hampton taken when we had the hassan healing conference a few months ago, it was a great day!.

  http://www.randytv.com/bowenvisit1.jpg.

  randy watters.

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  Ghost of Esmeralda

  ooooooooooooooo *squeal*!!!

  A great picture of such wonderful people! I remember Cynthia from a women's group I used to post on. (Think I'll have to look them up to say hello!) and of course, a fabulous picture of two men that I admire and think the world of!

  Thanks for posting it Randy, you really made me smile :D

  big hugs,

  essie